Tired Monday

Sometimes I start the week energized and ready to go...others, like this week..., it's not the case. Last week was very busy, and then on Saturday, I helped my church with a Women's Event. It was fun, but took a lot out of me. After going to church on Sunday, I pretty much took a "Sabbath" rest for the remainder of the day. It was nice to not have a packed Sunday...which was good because work today was a bit crazy. Meetings in the morning, training in the afternoon and answering emails was my day. I came home pooped and it's only Monday!! I'm praying for God's strength to get me through the rest of this week. I'm glad He gives energy to the weary.

I am no orphan

One of my favorite songs is from Laura Woodley's CD "Home" - I especially love the title song, taken from Psalm 139:

"You traced the line of my fingerprints

Counted my days before I knew them

Precious thoughts for me, more than the sands

My name is written on Your hands

You know the number of hairs on my head

All of my words before they are said

When I rise up and when I lie down

When I go in and when I go out

Father, You have a place in Your heart for me

Jesus Your Son made me family

I am no orphan

By Your Spirit I receive

I have found my home

Where You are is where I belong

A place I fit perfectly

There is room in You for me"

Whenever I hear this song, I'm reminded, that no matter how I feel, God loves me and Jesus died to make me part of His family. I was an outcast before I came to Christ, but no longer. Sometimes life beats me down and I get the wrong perspective that I don't matter- but we all matter to God. He loves us so much and I need...we all need...to be reminded of this truth.

His Healing Touch

Yesterday, I was helping empty out a cooler that had ice in it - I accidentally put my finger in the wrong place on the cooler and my finger got pinched really bad. Wow - did it hurt!! It's times like this that you really know what's in your heart, because it comes out your mouth. I shouted, "Caramba and darn" and was jumping around clutching my finger. I quickly placed some ice on it, but the damage had been done. My finger started swelling up pretty quickly and I was unable to use it the rest of the day. At the same time, I'm constantly amazed how our bodies heal and get better. I woke up the next morning with my finger considerably less swollen and I wasn't in as much pain. Life is just as the Psalmist says in Ps. 139:14 (CEV) "...and I praise You because of the wonderful way You created me. Everything You do is marvelous! Of this I have no doubt." I'm so thankful that God loves me and heals me when I hurt, both physically and emotionally.

Learning from Kuja and Mocha

Say hi to Kuja (red one) and Mocha (black one) - my dogs. Actually, Kuja belongs to my roommate and Mocha belongs to me, but they are sisters and were adopted from a local shelter, so they are "house dogs." They are part SharPei and part Lab and have characteristics of both breeds. It's been interesting to see and understand the whole "dog pack" dynamics. Mocha is definitely the alpha dog, even though she's smaller. Kuja defers to Mocha on almost everything - Mocha always walks out the door first, and on the walks, Mocha is always out in front. There are times that it bothers me Kuja lets Mocha be in charge, but I realize that's my issue. Kuja is very content letting Mocha be the alpha and Mocha's content being alpha. They both know their place in the pack and all is well for them. The older I get, the more I am learning to know what is my place in my "pack" (community) and finding contentment in it.

Starting Out

Hi! This is my first post and I'm excited to see where this all leads...I've been wanting to do this for a while so just decided to dive in. I was unsure what name to use for my blog and then I was reading an article in today's paper about a new book on Mother Theresa's life, entitled "Mother Teresa: Come Be My Light."

While in India, in a letter estimated to be from 1961, Teresa wrote: "Darkness is such that I really do not see -- neither with my mind nor with my reason -- the place of God in my soul is blank -- There is no God in me -- when the pain of longing is so great -- I just long & long for God . . . The torture and pain I can't explain."

Over time, the Rev. Joseph Neuner, a spiritual adviser, helped Teresa realize her feelings of abandonment only increased her understanding of the people she helped, and ultimately, she identified her suffering with that of Jesus, which helped her to accept it.

Many people typically experience a "dark night of the soul" in the words of 16th-century priest St. John of the Cross, but never as long as the "whole working life" Teresa experienced. Some are saying that it's not "spiritual" that Mother Teresa struggled with her faith in this manner, but I find it somewhat comforting. Comforting to realize that a woman who walked as close as she did to God also had hard times makes me realize it's OK when I struggle also...

The book, "Dark Night of the Soul" is one of my favorite books of all time. When I first read it about 10 years ago, I was going through a very difficult time in my life. It was amazing how this author who lived more than 500 years ago clearly understood what I was going through in this day and time. To walk close to God daily but not sense the emotional touch of His presence is an incredibly difficult thing to do...thank God He holds on to us very closely during these dark times.

Anyway, I wanted to name my blog something that alluded to this experience, but exhibited the "bright side" of this experience...hence, "Bright Night of the Soul."