A Peaceful Christmas Eve

Amazing how time flies... it's already Christmas Eve 2007. Just got back from the family dinner, celebrating Christmas together tonight. Tomorrow will be a day to chillax, hang out, call friends and family, reflect on the goodness of God, remember how fortunate I am to be loved by so many and that I have so many to love. Praying you have a good day also...

We have an IKEA in Orlando...finally!

Yeah...IKEA has opened its first store in Central Florida and I went there today. I like IKEA - I like the light pine furnishings, the blue and gold, the good prices, the easy assembly (actually Joy puts most of the things together!), the inventiveness of their designs AND their emphasis on affordable furnishings. When I lived in California, there was an IKEA right down the street from where I lived and I was there a lot. Most of the furnishings in my house are from IKEA and I'm thrilled to have one here now. I bought a few things for myself and a Christmas present for my sister - fun!! Thanks IKEA for coming to Orlando.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving

I love Thanksgiving! I thank God for so many things, among them:

1. His love for me and sending Jesus to save me
   
2. my family
3. the glow of a sunset as it sets behind the trees
   
4. dear friends
5. being able to make an eternal difference working at Wycliffe
   
6. the stars in the early morning as they shine down on us
   
7. my dogs
8. a home, enough food to eat and clothes to wear
9. a beautiful flower and its enticing scent
   
10. my health
11. a haunting melody that gets into my heart and makes me feel close to God
12. too many other things to keep counting...

In all these things, I give thanks. May you have a Thanksgiving in which you have much to feel thankful about as well.

I Pray

I love working at Wycliffe! Where else can you work that puts such emphasis on prayer that they're willing to set aside a whole day to pray for the needs of the Bibleless and for those who don't know of God's love yet? Yesterday was that day. Here are some videos online that will give you a glimpse of the importance of God's word in our lives: Nikki, Martha, David, Jenny.

Enjoy!

Discovered Facebook - wow!

OK...so I'm a little slow on the tech train, but I've just discovered the wonder of Facebook. I have started to connect with friends from high school, and other places. Someone asked me how Facebook is different than email and blogging. I guess the way I understand it is that email is like you writing a note to someone in another city and having a messenger deliver it. Blogging is like a poetry reading to people who then write you notes about it. Facebook is like a "virtual" coffee-shop where you're in an environment that allows a bunch of different people to connect all at the same time, not face-to-face, but online. I'm able to play an online Scrabble game with friends - post photos - see their photos - read about their lives - have them read about my life - kewl!! Anway, if you're interested, join and let me know you're on. We can connect!

Can't stop praising God!

Woke up this morning around 6am to a dark, rainy day. It rains a lot in Florida, but usually not in the morning. One of us always walks the dogs in the morning so they get all their "business" done and then are tired and ready for their long day while we're at work. Joy was going to walk the dogs, but had a mini-migraine and went back to bed to try and feel better before going to work. I decided to wait and see if the rain stopped so I could walk the dogs. The rain lessened to a light sprinkle and off we went. It was a gorgeous morning! The sun was just coming out, there was a light breeze in the trees, the birds were singing and then I turned the corner and there was a beautiful rainbow in the sky! My heart welled up with love and gratitude to God for His great gifts, love and care. I just couldn't stop praising Him for how much He loves us and how the presence of Jesus speaks into every aspect of my life. Don't get me wrong...I'm not saying I have a perfect life. But...in the midst of those things that are lacking - Jesus is there. He cares - He is pulling for me - He is interceding for me - He is sustaining me - He is blessing me - He is helping me love others more deeply - He is giving me more compassion, more understanding, more forgiveness for others - I mean, what more could I ask for?

But I will sing of your strength;
I will sing aloud of your steadfast love in the morning.
For you have been to me a fortress
and a refuge in the day of my distress.
O my Strength, I will sing praises to you, for you,
O God, are my fortress,
the God who shows me steadfast love.

Psalm 59:16 -17 (ESV)

Oops!

OK, I spoke too soon. We DID have the air conditioning off for a bit and I thought we could leave
it off permanently, but, it is not to be. The air conditioner went back on last night and we'll see how it goes. I forgot that we're in the "transition" phase of Florida weather where it's cool one day and then hot the next. In fact, this week it's supposed to get back up 84 degrees, so we're not at the completely cool weather phase yet - but it's coming!! This is what fall is like down here in Florida.

Finally - Air Conditioning is off!!!

Yeah, we were finally able to turn off the air conditioning on Thursday, October 25, 2007! After turning on the air conditioner in the beginning of May 2007, it's now turned cool enough to turn it off. Hallelujah! For six months, we've been inside a hermetically sealed environment due to the high heat and humidity of living in Florida. I can still remember when I first moved to Florida back in 2001 and the first hot day hit. Having moved from Southern California where it's hot during the day and cools off at night, I did the same thing here by turning off the air conditioner and opening up the windows to get the cool air inside the house. Bad move! It didn't cool off at night and there was NO cool air. I closed the house back up and kept on the air conditioner for the next six months. Like I always say, I'm glad to live in Florida and be able to endure the heat and humidity for six months of the year with air conditioning. But, I'm REALLY glad when it cools off in in November and we can turn off the air conditioning until early May of the next year. Opening up the house and it getting cooler also motivates me to clean up, throw out and get rid of clutter.

Managing Emotions

I attended a good all-day workshop today entitled "Managing Emotions Under Pressure." I used to think that I had a pretty good handle on my emotions and then some things happened in my work and personal life and I realized I didn't have such a good handle on these emotions. I find that God has done lots of deep work in me digging out the baggage and triggers through most of my emotional stuff...but, there are still those times when I lose it emotionally. In fact, it just happened the other day. My rational mind knows something is not right, but my emotions just do what they want. It's like Paul says in Romans 7:15, "I do not understand what I do; for I don't do what I would like to do, but instead I do what I hate."

I went hoping to get some good ideas on how to identify these triggers and change some behaviors. The instructor shared how we have two areas that control our behavior - the rational part of our brain (the neo-cortex) and the emotive part of our brain (the limbic system.) The neo-cortex is where learning takes place, but then the limbic system is where all the emotions and long-term memories reside. To make it more clear he asked, "Have you ever ridden a horse?" Most people said "yes" and then he asked, "Does a horse ever do what it doesn't want to do?" Most of us laughed, remembering being thrown off a horse or being taken back to the stable when the horse wanted to go. It takes a very skilled rider to control and train that horse to do what the rider wants it to do - not let the horse control the situation.


Our emotions (limbic system) are the horse and our rational thoughts (neo-cortex) are the rider. When the horse inside us - and yes, everyone has a horse! - controls what we do, then we are being controlled by our emotions and not rational thought. Therefore, the key is to train the horse inside us (our emotions) to be controlled by the rider (rational thought) and not the other way around. This means that we can unlearn old patterns and re-learn new patterns - so, you CAN teach an old horse new tricks!! This takes time, effort and lots of hard work. I'm praying that God gives me the grace and strength to work on some of these bad habits in my life. I'll keep you posted on the progress!!

I love flowers!

My wonderful roommate, who is in India for two weeks, had these lovely bouquet of flowers sent to me - yeah! There's something wonderful about receiving flowers - they are beautiful, they represent life, they smell really nice and...most important of all - they tell you someone cares about you! If I had the money, I'd send fresh flowers to everyone I know (well, the women :-)...

Alone but not Lonely

Joy and her mom (Esther) left for India yesterday on a two-week trip to see Joy's aunt and Esther's sister, Marietta. Marietta and her husband, Joe, were missionaries at Woodstock School for many years. I'm glad that Joy and Esther have this chance to go on this adventure.

It was a full weekend, with Esther and Joy getting ready for their trip and then lots of family stuff as well. Dad and Mari came in from the beach for the weekend. We had a big family dinner Friday night and then attended my brother's girlfriend's 4 year-old daughter's birthday party. Our family's present to her was the entire Cinderella outfit - yup, dress/ shoes / wand / tiara / gloves. She looked absolutely precious and she twirled and spun the entire time she had it on. It had been awhile since I'd been to a young child's birthday party - I had forgotten how quickly they open presents. I love that they have no pretense at all about being eager to rip off the paper and see what's inside!

Anyway, by the time I'd taken Joy and Esther to the airport and returned home, I was ready for some alone time. People ask me if I get lonely when I'm by myself and the answer is "no." As much of a people person that I am, I also really relish time alone and especially, not having to interact if I don't feel like it. Plus, I have my dogs, Mocha and Kuja, so it's not like I'm really alone - they are great companions and good watch dogs also.

Tired Monday

Sometimes I start the week energized and ready to go...others, like this week..., it's not the case. Last week was very busy, and then on Saturday, I helped my church with a Women's Event. It was fun, but took a lot out of me. After going to church on Sunday, I pretty much took a "Sabbath" rest for the remainder of the day. It was nice to not have a packed Sunday...which was good because work today was a bit crazy. Meetings in the morning, training in the afternoon and answering emails was my day. I came home pooped and it's only Monday!! I'm praying for God's strength to get me through the rest of this week. I'm glad He gives energy to the weary.

I am no orphan

One of my favorite songs is from Laura Woodley's CD "Home" - I especially love the title song, taken from Psalm 139:

"You traced the line of my fingerprints

Counted my days before I knew them

Precious thoughts for me, more than the sands

My name is written on Your hands

You know the number of hairs on my head

All of my words before they are said

When I rise up and when I lie down

When I go in and when I go out

Father, You have a place in Your heart for me

Jesus Your Son made me family

I am no orphan

By Your Spirit I receive

I have found my home

Where You are is where I belong

A place I fit perfectly

There is room in You for me"

Whenever I hear this song, I'm reminded, that no matter how I feel, God loves me and Jesus died to make me part of His family. I was an outcast before I came to Christ, but no longer. Sometimes life beats me down and I get the wrong perspective that I don't matter- but we all matter to God. He loves us so much and I need...we all need...to be reminded of this truth.

His Healing Touch

Yesterday, I was helping empty out a cooler that had ice in it - I accidentally put my finger in the wrong place on the cooler and my finger got pinched really bad. Wow - did it hurt!! It's times like this that you really know what's in your heart, because it comes out your mouth. I shouted, "Caramba and darn" and was jumping around clutching my finger. I quickly placed some ice on it, but the damage had been done. My finger started swelling up pretty quickly and I was unable to use it the rest of the day. At the same time, I'm constantly amazed how our bodies heal and get better. I woke up the next morning with my finger considerably less swollen and I wasn't in as much pain. Life is just as the Psalmist says in Ps. 139:14 (CEV) "...and I praise You because of the wonderful way You created me. Everything You do is marvelous! Of this I have no doubt." I'm so thankful that God loves me and heals me when I hurt, both physically and emotionally.

Learning from Kuja and Mocha

Say hi to Kuja (red one) and Mocha (black one) - my dogs. Actually, Kuja belongs to my roommate and Mocha belongs to me, but they are sisters and were adopted from a local shelter, so they are "house dogs." They are part SharPei and part Lab and have characteristics of both breeds. It's been interesting to see and understand the whole "dog pack" dynamics. Mocha is definitely the alpha dog, even though she's smaller. Kuja defers to Mocha on almost everything - Mocha always walks out the door first, and on the walks, Mocha is always out in front. There are times that it bothers me Kuja lets Mocha be in charge, but I realize that's my issue. Kuja is very content letting Mocha be the alpha and Mocha's content being alpha. They both know their place in the pack and all is well for them. The older I get, the more I am learning to know what is my place in my "pack" (community) and finding contentment in it.

Starting Out

Hi! This is my first post and I'm excited to see where this all leads...I've been wanting to do this for a while so just decided to dive in. I was unsure what name to use for my blog and then I was reading an article in today's paper about a new book on Mother Theresa's life, entitled "Mother Teresa: Come Be My Light."

While in India, in a letter estimated to be from 1961, Teresa wrote: "Darkness is such that I really do not see -- neither with my mind nor with my reason -- the place of God in my soul is blank -- There is no God in me -- when the pain of longing is so great -- I just long & long for God . . . The torture and pain I can't explain."

Over time, the Rev. Joseph Neuner, a spiritual adviser, helped Teresa realize her feelings of abandonment only increased her understanding of the people she helped, and ultimately, she identified her suffering with that of Jesus, which helped her to accept it.

Many people typically experience a "dark night of the soul" in the words of 16th-century priest St. John of the Cross, but never as long as the "whole working life" Teresa experienced. Some are saying that it's not "spiritual" that Mother Teresa struggled with her faith in this manner, but I find it somewhat comforting. Comforting to realize that a woman who walked as close as she did to God also had hard times makes me realize it's OK when I struggle also...

The book, "Dark Night of the Soul" is one of my favorite books of all time. When I first read it about 10 years ago, I was going through a very difficult time in my life. It was amazing how this author who lived more than 500 years ago clearly understood what I was going through in this day and time. To walk close to God daily but not sense the emotional touch of His presence is an incredibly difficult thing to do...thank God He holds on to us very closely during these dark times.

Anyway, I wanted to name my blog something that alluded to this experience, but exhibited the "bright side" of this experience...hence, "Bright Night of the Soul."